In the last post, I shared some of the various terms used in reference to children of cross-cultural workers or globally mobile situations. In this post, I will share why I specifically choose to use the term "Third Culture Kid" or "TCK" and why others might choose not to use that term.
First, perhaps, some objections to the term.
Pretty much anyone who is trying to figure out what term to apply to this group of people is someone who actually cares about us. Why else would you be trying to figure out what to call us? So I guess my first point is, any reasons for choosing or not choosing a specific term usually arise out of a real concern and love for the group -- and therefore are valid. I, personally, deeply appreciate anyone who cares enough to think fully through the terms out there and decide which they feel applies best, simply because it means that they are thinking things through!
One of the main concerns that I have seen raised with regard to the term "TCK" is that it implies a sense of "otherness" -- that these children are NEITHER of the First Culture, NOR of the Second Culture, and therefore fit in nowhere. It has the potential to emphasize the struggles of being globally mobile rather than emphasizing the benefits. The same objections (though not quite a strongly) apply to the term "Global Nomad." ... there is inherent in these terms a sense of non-belonging.
Alternatives presented are usually "Bi-Cultural" (belonging to BOTH cultures rather than NEITHER) or "Trans-Cultural" (able to belong to any culture rather than being defined by any one).
I absolutely understand and sympathize with these concerns. I, myself, have gone through time periods where the label of "TCK" so deeply defined me that I rejected the idea of belonging to any culture -- perhaps even avoiding how I could belong, so as to be sure not to "lose" my TCK identity. How sad! That is not a healthy attitude to have, for sure, and for that reason, I completely understand the desire not to use a term that might encourage those issues.
I have, however, obviously decided to use the term "TCK" on this blog, and even in my own life to identify as a TCK. These are my reasons:
1. My main reason for choosing to use this term is because it is the term that has history, has books written about it, has scientific studies surrounding it, and is generally accepted. I feel that many resources are geared toward this term, and that specifically rejecting it creates unnecessary issues with many resources that truly are geared toward helping this group of people.
2. TCKs are, in general, a group of people who really do struggle with belonging. Our global experiences often produce a difficultly with completely belonging to any one place. Granted, this is not the entirety of the experience, but it is absolutely an aspect. I think that to not acknowledge this part of our experience can be (does not have to be, but can be) a rejection of a portion of who we are. We do not have necessarily MORE issues than your average mono-cultural kid, but our issues are certainly DIFFERENT, and in order to deal with them, we have to be able to face them. I love the positive implications of "Bi-cultural" or "Trans-cultural" and think those positive things are also aspects of who we are -- but the aspect of difficulty belonging is also part of who we are.
3. My final reason ties in closely to the previous one. Third Culture Kids, amazingly, do seem to share many cultural tendencies, experiences, and thought processes WITH EACH OTHER. It is almost as though, in creating a hybrid of two or more cultures, they often end up with something that is a sort of "Third Culture" -- and that relates very closely to others who have been globally mobile, even if they were in completely different parts of the world! This supports the idea of the "Third Culture" that is created, and to which all of these children belong.
Ah -- there it is -- the sense of belonging. Among other TCKs, we experience something which we very rarely have a chance to experience: a deeply shared knowledge of the experiences and thought processes which have shaped each other. A culture. One in which we do not have to think about where we are or how we act -- a place where we are really understood, where we, our whole entire selves, fit in.
And that sense of belonging and "fitting in" is so very elusive that it is extremely precious to us when we find it. For many of us, the first time we heard and understood the idea of a "Third Culture Kid" was the first time we felt someone actually understood us, and among others who identify as TCKs, we feel understood. To reject the term "TCK" in favor of other terms that might better address certain concerns can be (again, might not, but could) to cut us off from the one group of people who understands us better than any other.
I suppose that is what makes me the saddest: here we are, a group of people historically little understood and with struggles that even we do not completely understand and therefore have a hard time addressing, and we are finally beginning to find a community, to be studied, to be understood. We are finally beginning to be helped, to find people who will come alongside us and attempt to address our unique lives with its unique advantages and challenges. It would be so sad to cut ourselves off from those like us, from those seeking to help us, from possible explanations and friends and mentors -- just because we don't agree with an aspect of a label or possible negative connotations of term.
So, I would say -- find the term that you like best. Find the one that resonates with your soul. Find the one that makes you say, "That's me!" -- I personally like the sound of "Global Nomad." And embrace that term, that sense of belonging, that sense of having an identity and a name for your experience.
But don't cut off the rest of us. Don't look down on those who have chosen a different term. We are all in this together -- this crazy, amazing life -- and we can be of so much benefit to each other.
So whatever term you choose... a TCK by any other name is still a unique and wonderful person with incredible richness of experience (good and bad) to draw from. We are our own people group, and we get to decide what that means.